Grumpinions are not reviews.

At least, not reviews as you know them. You can get long-winded buying guides anywhere -- those 3000 word snoozers that nitwits like to call 'objective reviews.' * Here, enjoy grumpinions. Think of them as little feature articles that use a particular game as their hook. In the end, it's game writing that you'd actually want to read. Imagine that. Newest two are on top, and the complete archive is below.

  DateTitleAuthor
2/23/09SchmonsequencesMAtt Dujnic
10/22/08Looking into the AbyssDaniel Dujnic
5/21/08Non-Murder SimulatorMAtt Dujnic
4/8/08Pride Breeds Hubris Breeds MiseryDaniel Dujnic
3/25/08Ahead of Your TimeMAtt Dujnic
3/18/08Graphics Whores Untie!MAtt Dujnic
3/4/08Interactive ArtMAtt Dujnic
2/26/08The Five Hour LimitMAtt Dujnic
2/19/08Teamwork Go!Daniel Dujnic
2/5/08Jump Up Jump Up and Get DownMAtt Dujnic
1/29/08Open World, DammitMAtt Dujnic
1/22/08We Need Our Prestige GamesMAtt Dujnic
1/14/08The Shipyard of SorrowsDaniel Dujnic
12/17/07The Awe of Infinite LevelsMAtt Dujnic
11/28/07Game of the Year 2007MAtt Dujnic
11/27/07Bad Nostalgia TripDaniel Dujnic
11/20/07Vegetable Combat Systems and Other JoysDaniel Dujnic
11/20/07GTA, Has Relevance Stopped Returning Your Calls?Daniel Dujnic
11/13/07An 8-Bit Version of Who CaresDaniel Dujnic
11/12/07100% Vegetable FreeMAtt Dujnic
11/11/07It's a Treasure! Zing!MAtt Dujnic
11/10/07When Good Series Go 3DDaniel Dujnic
11/9/07Respect your History, Even if you Don't Play ItDaniel Dujnic
11/8/07Sign me Up Up Down Down You Get ItDaniel Dujnic
11/8/07A Sort of 8-Bit SynthesiaDaniel Dujnic
11/7/07One of Our Few Straight ReviewsDaniel Dujnic


* On the myth of objectivity: Truth be told, we don't do reviews here. We do opinionated features. But, perhaps some of them might resemble reviews to your eyes. Since they do focus on one game, and they do contain (gasp) opinions.

Anyway, onto that 'myth of objectivity' I mentioned: Here's a vocabulary lesson for illiterate trolls: Reviews contain opinions. Opinions are subjective. Transitively, reviews are subjective. I'll repeat that: Reviews are subjective. If a review is objective, it lacks opinions -- meaning it lacks a point of view and any trace of critical thought. Which makes it not a review.

So next time you start screaming at some unfortunate game reviewer (or, for some reason, us), remember that little lesson. Review = subjective.

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Editor, Matthew "MAtt" Dujnic, e-mail: matt@gamegrump.com | © 2004-2009 Matthew Dujnic. Portions © 2007-2009 Daniel Dujnic